Ok, I’ll admit it. Spending day after day confined in my house isn’t that big of a change from my normal day to day. As a telecommuter, my weekdays haven’t changed. What has changed is that I am no longer alone on weekdays, as I sit and listen to my other half sighing with frustration and boredom during his work furlough.

So, we find ways to amuse ourselves, right? I decided to ask myself some hard questions, and write my answers as a series of blog posts. The answers are truthful, if somewhat long-winded (Lee? Long-winded?? Never!!). This first part contains the easier questions. I’ll save the harder ones for future posts.

1. Why do I buy so much from Amazon?
   You know, this is a subject that has been weighing on my mind a great deal, as of late. BC (“Before Corona”) my shopping habits were filled with purchased based on that mantra of “instant gratification” mixed with intense laziness: I want this book/gadget/thingamajig and I can get it delivered to my door in about 2 days. But did I need any of those things? Some, yes. Dog food, supplements, razor blades, sure. Others, it was the ease of the transaction, coupled with the control of getting it.
   
   Now, in the DC (“During Corona”) era, my shopping habits are to acquire needed things with the least amount of interaction with others. And the purchases are less frivolous, but more mentally appeasing: electronic books, junk food (ugh, shame on me), batteries, distilled water, a case of tomato sauce. One could say physical and emotional necessities. And, while I chide myself for some of the indulgences (read: shortbread and Hershey’s kisses) I suspect these will pass in the AC (“After Corona”) habits. But we shall have to wait and see when that era comes to pass.
   
2. What have you learned about yourself from being “confined” in your home? About your husband? About others?
   I have discovered that I am very very good at keeping myself occupied. As an only child to a single parent growing up in the 70’s and 80’s, I was frequently home alone for long portions of the day. Since I grew up in Manhattan, it wasn’t like I could go outside and play until my mom got home, so I spent a lot of time in our apartment, finding things to stimulate the little grey cells. Back then, I would come home from school, turn on the tv, and turn the volume to a level that was less like conversation, and more like murmuring: creating background noise. I would set up my school books on the dining table, and grab a drink (juice or, more likely, diet pepsi – the drink of choice for my mom) and a snack, then turn on the radio (yep, tv AND radio) and quietly play music while doing my homework. There was a great NPR station that played classical until about 4:30, when it switched over to news, and I switched it off.
   
   After that, it was either reading a book, or doing a jigsaw puzzle or a word search from the giant book of Word searches my mom would buy from the hospital gift shop after her shift, or, when all else failed, turning up the volume on the tv and trying to find an old black and white movie to watch, or WGBH or WNYC, where hopefully they would have an English show playing. I loved English television. I remember, at a very early age, sitting close the the tv and parroting every line of the original “Upstairs Downstairs” out loud, in the accents. I LOVED English accents. And I was very good at them.
   
   Sometimes, I would go to my bedroom and play an album while lying on my bed, thinking about what the songwriter meant by those lyrics, or that use of instrument at just that time. As a teenager, my album of choice for almost four years was The Moody Blues “Days of Future Passed“. In my mind’s eye, I saw a full-length feature of visuals for that album, akin of a Fantasia-like quality, but with actual live footage, rather than cartoons. I still see that movie in my mind every time I listen to that album. I would love to lay out my visions for that album and have someone film it.
   
   Not much has changed in 40 something years. Now confined to my own home, I go downstairs every morning during the week around 7:00am with my cup of tea. I ask Alexa to play either Jazz or Classical, and turn the volume down low. At around 5pm, I come upstairs, grab a glass of wine, or other beverage of choosing, (my adult “snack”) and relax with a Kindle novel, or a jigsaw puzzle, or app on my phone. I might lie on the sofa and listen to a podcast episode, or ask Alexa to shuffle songs from “Yacht Rock” or more Jazz or Classical. Or, I’ll stream an episode of whatever show I’m binge watching on Netflix or Prime on my iPad. And I will troll my social feeds, but not for any length of time.
   
   I’m not much of a TV watcher anymore, but my streaming preferences still lean towards the anglophile in me. And, yes, I meditate. Once in the morning, and again in the afternoon or evening if I feel the urge. I love to meditate. I prefer a guided meditation, but can also easily sit for 20-30 minutes if there are nature sounds playing (thank GOD I bought a lifetime membership to the Calm app for myself last year. What a worthwhile investment!)
   
   What I am learning about my husband is that he gets sucked into the vortex of media and has a hard time getting out. He’s not quite as good at amusing himself indoors as I am. But hopefully my actions will rub off a bit. He gets so riled up that I think he’s going to grab his chest and keel over, but he manages to calm down. He reads some, but I think he bores easily.
   
   What I am beginning to learn more and more about my friends is how tough confinement is for them. I don’t truly understand why, but I am so saddened by how anxious and depressed my friends seem to be. And how afraid. I mean, we’re all afraid, but if we have taken proper precautions, and maintain social distancing, most of us will get through it. I am trying to find more opportunities to spread assurances, and compassion, in the hopes that people don’t feel like trapped animals. But it saddens me greatly how many cries for help I read in my feeds.
   
   This is an ongoing discovery. Every day there are more and more awakenings that I am finding. But this is as it stands after about two weeks of social distancing.

What have you learned about yourself and others in this different time?

Next time: more tough questions, and my answers.